A Dab Hand At Necromancy
by Lady Emzebel
Summary: Robin never would have thought she had a talent for a lost art of legend... Oneshot. Bit cracky. Written for Amethyst Turtle.


Title: A Dab Hand At Necromancy

Pairing: This was a challenge from Amethyst Turtle I simply couldn't ignore.

Rating: K+

Warnings: I'll let you guys be the judges, but they seem very OOC to me. *facedesks*

Disclaimer: I only own them in my heart. Oda-sama, however, has the privilege of owning them on paper.

-----X3----

The only sound in the Sunny's bar was softly rustling pages as Robin flipped through her ridiculously thick book. The aquarium lights behind her illuminated the whole room in soft blue light with dark shadows slithering and flitting against a dappled ceiling, giving it an ethereal appearance.

Half-deflated balloons littered a carpet of confetti on the floor, and streamers still hung from the ceiling, remnants of the Christmas celebrations earlier that evening.

_Or rather yesterday, _the archaeologist mused as she checked her new wristwatch, yet another example of Franky and Usopp teaming up to create a most sublime piece of machinery. Smiling fondly at her nakama's efforts, she stroked its face reverently.

Footsteps alerted her to another's presence.

"Robin-san? You are still awake?"

The musician stood in the doorway, a cup of tea (or so Robin presumed) clasped between his bony fingers. She started and nearly blushed.

Funny how he made her do that...

But composure had always been her speciality. Well...besides assassination, that is.

"Ah, Brooke-san, yes, yes I am."

"Good book?"

"Quite intriguing."

He came and sat beside her. Though the drop in height was drastic, he was still a head taller than she was.

"It must be, to keep you up this late."

Robin smiled.

"Well, I'm not the only one. Could you not sleep?"

"Well...no. In truth I still have a little trouble sleeping some nights..."

Brooke trailed off, staring into space. A rattling cup on its saucer betrayed his shaking hands. He set it down quickly beside him and reached into his chest.

"But enough of that. I also remembered I haven't given you your Christmas present yet."

From between his ribs he drew out a flat rectangular parcel wrapped in bauble-patterned purple and tied with a gold ribbon.

Robin briefly wondered how she had missed this lack of a gift exchange between them earlier, but reasoned it had been forgotten in the presentation of the scandalous sex toys Sanji and Usopp had jokingly purchased for an appalled Zoro. Now _that_ had been pre-breakfast entertainment.

She took the parcel, stealing the chance to sneak a peek at the musician's fathomless eye sockets and toothy skeleton grin. His ivory fingers felt strangely warm when they brushed hers atop the parcel, much as if he still had living muscle and skin, but the feeling was not unpleasant.

Brooke fidgeted as she meticulously peeled away the tape and unfolded the paper.

She stared for a moment.

And then another.

And another.

The sight in her lap did not change.

Nestled comfortably, almost _smugly_, in the neat wrapping paper was a pair of black, silken underwear trimmed with lace.

Keeping her face neutral she gave Brooke an inquisitive look.

He shrugged sheepishly.

"This way...I can truthfully say I have seen at least one pair of your panties, Robin-chan."

She laughed at that, and the musician relaxed, tension vanishing instantly from his non-existent muscles; he'd been expecting her to snap each and everyone one of his bones with a _clutch_.

"Yohohoho. You like them then?"

"They're very pretty Brooke-chan."

When she looked up at him, the shy blush on her cheeks belied the sly smile curving her lips.

"Thank you."

Then she kissed him, smack dab on the incisors.

Brooke's jaw promptly fell off, and Robin giggled behind one hand as he dropped to his knees to snatch it up again from the floor.

"Was...was that my...c...c...Christmas present, R...Robin-chan?" he asked when it was reattached.

Her smile grew wider as several pairs of hands sprouted from the floor and pinned him down. Her earlier shyness completely and utterly dissipated now as she slid off her chair and straddled his bony hips.

"Not at all, Brooke-chan. I was thinking that perhaps you'd like to see the panties I'm currently wearing?"

Something poked the inside of her thigh. Glancing down she was amazed to see a tent in Brooke's trousers.

"Oh my...it would seem to be that I have a boner. Yohohoho!"

Robin ran her fingers down the musician's ribs, amused by how much it sounded like a glockenspiel.

"Well well, fancy that. I never figured myself a necromancer."

"Hmm? What's that?"

"Someone with the power to _wake_ the dead," Robin added extra emphasis to the word with an experimental gyration of her hips.

"Yes...yes, I would certainly say that I'm satisfactorily awake."

"Good."

-----X3-----

Yeah...I kinda figure that if you stripped Brooke naked you'd find a regular skeleton...with an additional six inch bone attached between his legs.

...I need to be shot. -_-'


End file.
